Tuesday, September 26, 2006
  If you don't go to a chiropractor, you Will DIE!

First of all: Blogger Beta never remembers me and keeps on making me have to log in. That is irritating.

But more interesting is the health and safety fair I went to this weekend. It was sponsered by the local hospital, though it was a city event. This explains some of the booths there.

I got a free spinal screen. Basically it involved a little doohicky with two paddles that had three electrodes on them, to be placed on either side of my spine. Gadgets are cool. I like them a lot, so of course I did it. I gave the baby I was holding to my daughter so I could stand up straight.

They only did the screen on my neck. It looks like they'd go down the whole back if one could disrobe in public.

What it was supposed to do was measure the electrical activity, and it was supposed to fall within certain parameters.

Everything checked out except on the left, some vertebra, I'm not sure which one, but it controls the muscles of my shoulder and arm. It had too much activity going on, by a lot, according to the computer read out. It is also the one that controls my heart, and she was concerned. Very very concerned.

Because, you see, Jackie Joyner-Kersee recently died of a heart attack, and when they did the autopsy on her, they found a horrible subluxation right at the vertebra that controlled her heart. So even a very fit person, like me, should be worried. Then she told me I should look up the Winsor Autopsies.

Wow. That is scary stuff. Maybe I should go to the chiropractor.

Except that, well... Jackie Joyner Kersee is NOT dead.

Her sister in law, Francis Florence Griffith is dead. Mistaken identity? Perhaps, but she died of asphyxiation from having a seizure, not a heart attack.

What is also interesting is that they didn't pick up on the very real and irritating pain I often feel in my right shoulder/arm. And which arm do you think I'd been holding baby in? If you guessed the one that had 'too much electrical activity', you are right. I'm not sure if that has any bearing on it, but it certainly makes it so the "test" isn't very convincing to me.

There was another chiropractor doing a different kind of spinal screening, but it looked too involved and I had three impatient kids with me. So no more razzing the chiros.

Anyway, sorry for the long wait here. I have some short stories to submit and one I haven't begun that has to be finished by Oct 1.
 
Comments:
Not all chiropracters are evil. I had one in Lousiana who gave me very real relief from migraines. I had slept in a very uncomfortable chair for several nights while my baby was in the hospital with bronchitis. When those vertabrae were put back in line, the pain felt like it drained down my neck. (Actually, he was evil, but he only did adjustments after xrays and didn't tell me he could cure colds and cancer. He had a nasty habit of hitting on his female patients, especially young ones and I was about 24 or 25 at the time. Visiting him was trading one kind of discomfort for another, but he did know the meaning of no. I just had to tell him every time I went in.)

Another chiropracter I visited was totally good. He didn't claim he could do anything but help get my back untwisted after I had wrenched it but good catching a sleeping 5 year old. At least I didn't drop her on her head. lol This last chiropracter had me come in a total of 3 times...the first two a week apart and then one more two weeks later. And my back did feel better, much better.
 
Granola,

Classic chiro gobbledygook. The unfounded diagnostic technique you were a part of measures nothing more than how hard the device is or isn't pushed against the skin. It is a great example of the ideomotor effect, more classically seen with dowsing and ouiji boards. Add the fact that subluxations in the chiropractic sense don't exist and you have a great example of healthfraud regardless of the intentions of this particular chiropractor.

Rinda,

You probably mean bronchiolitis or at least I hope you do. Otherwise your baby has cystic fibrosis or is a chain smoker. I won't argue with you about whether or not you felt relief from your migraines but I would like to say that it wasn't because of having your vertebrae put back into line. They weren't out of line. Chiropractic adjustments have no effect whatsoever on the position of the vertebrae. And the overuse of xrays, often poorly done with use of more ionizing radiation than is necessary to get a good film, is an evil aspect of the majority of chiropractic. Back pain tends to get better regardless of what treatment modality is used be it exercise, pain meds, physical therapy, or chiropractic. I'm glad yours did too.
 
Well, since her baby is 34 now, I guess she didn't have cystic fibrosis.

There does seem to be some evidence that chiropractic can relieve migraines. But you are right. Chiropractic can't move vertebrae.

Think about it, actually. If they could, that would be very, very scary for real life living. I think some of them actually propose this kind of fear to their patients.

Anyway, the biggest problem I have with the exchange was the outright falsehood that I could so easily check out. It suggests they aren't afraid that people will check their facts. There is something deeply wrong with this, in my world. I really wish I'd had my own booth there...
 
If chiropractic can't move vertabrae, what is the bump I feel in the back of my neck when I have migraines? We have found that dear hubby can move it back where it belongs with a little gentle massage and pushing. Much cheaper than going to the chiropractor and it only takes about 5 minutes. When the bump isn't there, we just leave my neck alone.

Clark,
While I am certainly thankful that none of babies had cystic fibrosis, the idea of a baby chain smoking gives me the giggles. I guess it's only funny though, if the kids don't have access to smokes, which my babies didn't. What is the difference between bronchitis and bronchiolitis? I don't have cystic fibrosis and I have never smoked, but I end up with bronchitis, or so I understand, most every winter. Thanks!
 
It's an anatomic difference. Bronchioles are the smaller airways deeper in the lungs. The bronchi are the large air tubes that break off of the trachea. Bronchiolitis effects us all but tends to cause much morbidity in infants, especially the premature and those with other problems such as cardiac disease. It is classically caused by RSV but can be caused by many other viruses as well. Bronchitis tends to effect smokers primarily but as far as it's incidence in the adult population goes I won't speak on as it is out of my scope. However it very rarely effects healthy children. This unfortunately doesn't stop many pediatricians from diagnosing it either out of ignorance or as an excuse to give antibiotics for a cold.

If one of your spinal vertebrae was out of position to that degree you would likely have a lot more than a migraine going on. It is highly doubtful that it is a spinal bone and is more likely a muscle spasm that needs some good old fashioned TLC. Make sure you are well hydrated, eat bannanas, and see if that decreases the frequency(this is not medical advice, you should consult your physician prior to embarking upon the Clark Bartram bannana-hydration plan). Either that or you have a lipoma or other mass that is easily moveable and there is no actual relationship. Try paying attention and keep track of how many times the lump is there and you do not have any symptoms.

Granola,
Yep, probably not CF. I'm not aware of any decent evidence that chiropractic manipulation is effective for migraines outside of just the placebo effect. One would have to compare real chiropractic to sham chiropractic and see if there was improved outcome with the real version. It could easily be done. Also there is a small but very real association between neck manipulation and tearing of a vertebral artery. There were some decent studies in Spine that looked at it a couple of years ago.

A better example is when chiropractors, and many do at schools and health fairs, claim to treat scoliosis.
 
I need to correct one thing. Bronchiolitis doesn't effect us all, only young children. What I meant to say is that the viruses that cause bronchiolitis in children also effect older kids and adults. We might only get a few sniffles while a newborn might need to be mechanically ventilated in an ICU.
 
Ok...this is totally off topic. After my sick sick summer, I have developed thrush. Nystatin didn't kill it. Back to the dr on Monday and they did all the blood work to be sure my liver was ok. So now I am taking dyflucan. And since my md flew away yesterday, poor baby, she is in Tuscany, I talked to the nurse practitioner. She said to stay away from sweets. Ok, that makes sense. I have little yeasties in my mouth and throat. I don't need to feed them. But then she said, there is yeast in bread. Don't eat it. Ok. I make bread. If I get the water too hot, it kills the yeast and the bread won't rise. I bake my bread at 375 degrees for 50 minutes or so. Wouldn't that kill all the little yeasties in the dough? Why would there be a problem with eating oven baked yeast that is totally dead? ok... there is my rant, my question. I have tried to google it and I am not getting the right words in. lol I should have questioned the np but I had heard it so many times from health food types that I just said ok. Then my brain turned on after I had hung up the phone. lol
 
That's a new one on me. I see thrush in infants all the time. In older children I worry about their immune system when thrush develops. If you were on beaucoup antibiotics then that might be a reason but I would still worry. As far as sweets goes, I think that isn't based on any evidence. You brush your teeth right? And the bread thing is off the deep end as well. Diflucan should take care of thrush very quickly. In infants we sometimes paint the inside of their mouth with a dye called gentian violet. It works but man is it messy and will stain skin for days.
 
Actually, it is quite common in patients with AIDS and others with compromised immune systems, as well as the elderly. I had West Nile which suppressed my immune system and went through a couple of courses of strong antibiotics for those little bugs who take advantage of you when you are down. Then the little fungi took over the vacancies left by the good bugs who died when I killed the bad bugs. I continued my search and found that some medical sites give advice against eating sweets, bread, and beer and others say that what you consume has nothing to do with the infection. Yes, I brush my teeth. grins. And I know about gentian violet, but as I am breaking out in a rash all over as well, I will use that as a last resort. I would look like a spotted purple people eater. Or maybe a Maori doing that dance that is supposed to scare off the enemy. Big purple tongue. hehe I wouldn't even be able to answer the door. lol

Thanks for your comment. Common sense will prevail and I will not worry about what I eat. I will continue to brush my teeth. I will put my toothbrush in the dishwasher and buy a new one when this thing is finished with me. Or I am finished with it.
 
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A Mormon housewife who loves truth, science, rational thought, and reasonable action.

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Granola is a mix of things: grains, nuts, bits of dried fruit, maybe some coconut. There's some fat in it, and it's a good source of fiber to keep those arteries and colons clean.

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